I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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