you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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