Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
