Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
