when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
