Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
