And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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