Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
