I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She bit a glass in half.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
