chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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