Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
