I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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