He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
