I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
