even my farts smell like vagina
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
