Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
