Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
