One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
