well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
