What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
