She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
