please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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