He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
