The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
