ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
