I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
