maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
