there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
