Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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