so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she smelled like a LAN party
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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