My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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