Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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