Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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