For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
