Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You pole danced in your parka.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
