Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
