honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
