my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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