So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
false alarm, still single
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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