CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
