New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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