chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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