Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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