she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
