Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
