my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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