she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
NoShamevember. You game?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
