from now on my penis is your penis
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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