So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
