lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
