How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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